Friday, January 30, 2009

Hot Dog Silver and the Pirate Raid!!!!

You might have wondered why we haven't posted for so long. Our computer was stolen and just returned. I am proud to have been selected as the informer out of such a populous mission!

The truth is, we got attacked by pirates. They came during the night, and only Agent Pizza heard them because he had been working on some diagram. He lept up sending his drawing flying into his turkey roaster (or at least that's what it looks like, I don't know if that is what it is for. He says he keeps it for recreational purposes.) Anyway he rang th efirebell and we all leaped out of our bunks and did the standard procedure for fire drills; Jump into the nearest waste basket and pretend you are a piece of trash. It works every time.

To all of our surprise, this didn't stop the pirates, and they steam rollered onto our ship. The lead pirate stepped forward and pulled out a few note cards. I figured he didn't like presenting because he began to sweat and his voice quivered. He said"He-llo, mmy name is Long John Silver". Then he switched note cards and said "And this is my nephew Hot Dog Silver" He changed them again "We are here to take your ship, so please leave and then we can take it." He looked up expectantly at us and then whispered "You are supposed to say 'Here is our boat, you can have it, we do not need it anymore.' " We all stared blankly at the pirate and his nephew. Then Long John Silver gave us a note card that said "Here is our boat, you can have it, we do not need it anymore". Zora began reading it, but then Agent Pizza grabbed it out of her hands and threw it off the ship. Chizu said "How will we know what our lines are?". The agent looked very mad(At least I think he was because there was steam coming out of his ears) and said "You can get off our ship now, we happen to need it at the moment."

The nephew, Hot Dog Silver, said "Ok", and dragged his uncle off the ship. It was quite happy moment. We all high-fived and exclaimed about our cleverness of getting them off the ship. "I thought we were going to die" said Chizu. The agent, meanwhile, had attached his beach ball skis to his feet and was crazily skiing towards the pirates. I had a pretty good idea what he was doing. He hadn't given anyone a lecture since yesterday. That is quite a long time for him. In a simultaneous motion we all ran away out of hearing distance. We didn't want a nap this early in the day.

That is what happened today so far. Hopefully the pirates won't return, but you never know! Bye, and a pleasant sea voyage to you, if you are taking one!


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Ouchie Ouchie Koala dance, bring me a turnip full of rice!

Alright, before I say anything, you must know that the title is the song of a native tribe we met today, and is not to be confused with the song about a Louisiana Trout. Anyway, let me tell you about this day in Voyaging? history.

We were kind of short on supplies, but due to that tiny hurricane, we aren't quite at our scheduled stop yet, and we were hungry. We all decided to stop on a small island in the middle of the sea, and On it there was a tribe of natives who were always dancing. They greeted us by singing "Ouchie Ouchie Koala dance, bring me a turnip full of rice!" We were very baffled by this strange behaviour, until a large mountain gorilla told us to pet the small bottle of marmalade. Everybody was wondering what was going on, when the mountain gorilla unzipped himself, and we realized it was a costume. After that, We bought supplies and ran to the ship as fast as possible. Sadly, the ship was gone, and we were very sad until an oar appeared with a message.

"You're boat has been stolen by pirates. Go to the southern end of the island and place a bag of gold there, and we will return your ship"

I was very annoyed, and so I pulled out my expandable private jet, and before anybody could ask, I flew over to the pirates and gave them a lecture. By the end, they were all asleep, and I was so taken aback I threw them and my jet into the ocean and drive the ship around the isle. Everybody should have thanked me, but instead they asked me what took so long. I noticed that It was the next day, and Everybody boarded the boat. I then went to my cabin and skulked for half an hour before Nadine came in to give me a lecture about lectures. I hastily tried to hide the plans for a new and improved penguin boiler, but she saw them anyway and turned into a pickle. I was really tired then, so I fell asleep. I can't tell you what happened next, because that would spoil it.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Introducing Zora

Hi my name is Zora and I talk in Honkish. Why I talk in honkish is a strange and griping tale.And now I shall tell it.... Ahem ahem ahem!

My mother was called Madam Quacker though her name was Duckuss Elizabeth the 508th. She preferred madam Quacker for obvious reasons. I mean to say it would sound a little strange to hear "hello Madam Duckuss Elizabeth the 507th i mean 508th" every minute of every day. So she went to Washington DC to see the President of soap that her name be changed. So now she is known as Madam Quacker.

But why did she want to be known as madam Quacker. You see she had this fondness for ducks. She had fifty ducks herself so she insisted on naming me after a duck, but there was to many ducks in her duck pen so she said she would throw a log down in the middle of them. The ducks that were on the right of the log she would chose my name from.

So she went out and stubbed her toe on a log which seemed big enough. She threw the log down in the middle of the herd of ducks. This scared 45 of the ducks so much that they flew into the air and were scoped into a giant net by a duck helicopter and flown to France. 5 ducks remand( Henrieta the third, Zora, Turnips, Ellis and Portopan) Madam Quacker pointed at each of them and said Eni-meani-mini-med-catch a duckling by its head-if it gets you-go to bed-open the freezer and get some ice- that is my advise! Her finger stooped not on Henrieta the third(thank goodness) not on Portopan,Ellis or Turnips, but on Zora. So my name is Zora.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Day Number XIIII

Well, the day in which we have all been waiting has come! Day number fourteen. When I thought of what would happen on that day, I did not expect any of this! A very interesting occurrence occurred and I am not sure I want to divulge to you what this was. I don't have too much patience so I will have to tell you.

We were journeying through the jungles of Peru at the time. We were all on deck watching the mysterious creatures of the Amazon do there job, except Zora and Agent Pizza. The Agent has a phobia of Ficus Trees, and told us he was making an invisible train shelter. Zora, on the other hand, was polishing her horn. Anyway, on the main deck me(Eréndira), Nadine and Chizu were observing the rain forest. We saw many interesting things including a squirrel, nine gorillas, and a cactus. These are the obvious things you would see in a rain forest but there was one unusual thing.

This was a large tree with a sign that said Professor M. Coraliggon(CoR-i-Li-Jen). I had heard the name before and I knew it. Before I could tell the others a darkness fell upon the forest and a single spotlight fell on a strange looking man. He began to dance a dance I recognized as "Call of the seed". That is when I realized where I had seen this man. He was my seven year Seed Professor. This was the guy who had taught me the ins and outs of seeds. And his famous quote told on radios all over the world: "I am always planting seeds, and when I am not planting, I am always planting seeds." At this point I grabbed a hockey stick from the Agents collection and handed it out to the Professor. He clutched it and was flung onto Gusto's perch. Gusto said"a;woeijfklenoasknpeownf"(Gustoian for: Get off my perch, you little cactus napper!) The professor considered him for a moment and then proclaimed "Why, it is the little duck that I found". I was amazed at his pronouncement and immediately started clapping. Nadine and Chizu joined me.

I heard a sound and Agent Pizza arrived and exclaimed "Who is the train thief that has stolen my best wig?"

To be continued........................

Monday, January 12, 2009

Day 4, the day of squid, bananas, and cream cheese

I think it is time I explained why today, day 4, is not 4 days after the start of our voyage. That is a strange fact, and I often wonder why. There are 3 possible explanations. One, the atmospheric content around our ship may be at a low level, due to extended calligraphy, therefore causing a wake of point six shallos. Hopefully, that unnatural phenomenon isn't the cause, as time would move a lot slower. The second explanation is that time has passed all ready, but we are filling you in late. The third explanation is that I don't care, and I refuse to discuss it further. Anyway, I will now tell you about day 4 of our trip.

First, we woke up in the morning to discover a horrible moaning noise. Looking around, we discovered a bunch of seagulls who had broken into Zora's trumpet supply, but were playing horribly off-pitch. After shooing them away, we were extremely bored. Chizu wanted to make a nest for Gusto, but no one heard her, since at that moment, Eréndira let out an explosive sneeze. Everybody looked at her, but she was running at top speed towards the cabins. When she came back, she had a strange contraption shaped like a kettle with horns. She pushed a button and three things came out. If you read the title, you might guess that the items were squid, bananas, and cream cheese. Strangly enough, those were not the items. Instead, there was an earplug, a chandelier, and and a chocolate boomerang. Then, We all promptly ran into the cabin and did various things for the rest of the day. THE END!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Day 99 divided by 33

Well, Hi! This is Chizu (CHiT-zOo or ChEeZe-oooooooo). I am here to report what I think happened on the third day of our voyage. We slept that day in a mill. The boat broke down, you see. Ok, there was a minor leak in Eréndira's cabin. Gusto saved our lives by fixing it. We all gathered to look at what a great job he did. Well, everyone except Agent Pizza because he claimed he had to do some tests on sardine specimens. We were all looking at the old hole in Eréndira's cabin, which looked like it had been taped together with one strip of scotch tape. Eréndira expressed some doubts about the safety of Gusto's expensive patch job. Everyone else thought it was brilliant and applauded him profusely, or maybe that was just me.

After Gusto's moment of brilliance, Agent Pizza made him an expressly warm and comfortable bed. Gusto was amazed and very confused, because he and the Agent Pizza are not too friendly with each other(Google "World War III" for details). He gave Agent Pizza a Penguin hug, to which the Agent gave a weak smile. He ran out of the room and I heard a gagging kind of sound. I was about to go investigate, when a eardrum-removing explosion occur outside. We all gathered around the deck to look. The mill we had spent the night was in ruins. The Agent returned and mumbled something about his Sardine Specimen backfiring.

We all gaped at him in surprise. Gusto even dropped his muffler. Then something horrible happened, the Agent said "Sardine Pox" and collapsed. We all knelt down and took his pulse. Gusto called the hospital, but dialed the wrong number and ordered a pizza. Eréndira grabbed the phone from Gusto and in the process knocked Gusto into the sea.

To be continued...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Colloqueel: The second day

We set off with a great wind and hardly any caterpillar infestations which was good because Eréndira said they were bad for her seeds. We established cabins and it looks like this: Soon we came upon an island called Archipelago. Agent Pizza volunteered to go explore. While he was gone Zora decided that we should do something useful. Chizu volunteered that we make Gusto a perch. We agreed and went to work carving and cutting. When we were done we thought for a while and decided the ship was too plain. We decorated it so it looked like a traveling circus. Eréndira and I painted murals on the walls of monkeys and elephants, while Zora and Chizu hung tent-like sculptures all around. After that, Zora thought we should hang a picture of a pizza somewhere. We decided against that idea because there wasn't any snow. Chizu went in to the town and bought some tap shoes for Gusto, who ate them at once. Then we played a few hands of cards.

Agent Pizza returned and, upon seeing the ship, promptly fell into the sea. On Chizu's command, Gusto jumped in after him, but got out again because he was allergic to peanut butter. We had to use a sea pole to drag him out(We wanted to use the North Pole, but Chizu wouldn't let us). Agent Pizza was sopping wet and just stared up at the ship. A tiger grinned back at him. Finally, he decided to pet Gusto and later to join us in cards.

After that the Agent disappeared for a while. We went looking for him and found a patch of snow. Zora exclaimed and put up the picture of the pizza. We all admired it for awhile. Then, the Agent appeared and cried out in shock. He expressed his surprise for the picture and was amazed we hadn't decorated it with cupcake photos. Chizu thought that was a good idea, but then Zora chucked her into our toadstool inventory. She didn't like that although I could instantly tell there was too many barometers.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Day 2 (my point of view)

Humph. Today has been really strange so far. First, we were sailing, minding our own business, when what should appear, but a drop of water! I mean, You might think it was the same as all those around us, but NO! it was actually made out of one hydrogen and two oxygen atoms! So, this little stinker came up onto our boat (a wave pushed it) and splashed across the deck! It was really weird, and Nadine said "wow...". Oh well. I digress.

Next, we came across a small archipelago. It was nice, but there were so many trees we couldn't see much. Somehow, I was chosen to explore, while the others sat around and played cards. So, I jumped off the boat, swam a little ways, and came onto a beach. I discovered an asphalt path, and followed it into the jungle. As I was pondering why there was asphalt on a small island in the middle of nowhere, I discovered a mango. When I picked it up, it had a carving etched on it. Thinking that it might be a sacred mango, I put it back, although it did seem strange that there would be a sacred mango laying on the side of a path. Going deeper, I discovered a town. I decided that the gate was a little too weird, so I turned and walked down a different path, which was more natural and looked as though it had been made by Native Islanders. I came across a gathering of tents, and discovered an old man with a hat that resembled a tissue box chanting spells around a campfire. When he saw me, he spoke:

"We are the real people of this isle. The town is the settler's creation, and they have begun to pollute our forests. The only thing they are interested in is selling Tap Shoes." With that, he promptly turned into a Siamese cat and walked off. In the tents, I found piles of junk. Some things were native, like bananas, some were not, like bowling balls, and some were the traditional things found in piles of junk, like dirty socks. I left as soon as possible, and decided that the island was too weird. When I came back to the ship, though, I fell in the water, and a tiger grinned at me. Afterward, I played cards with the others, and secretly put some snow in the hallway, which convinced them to put up a picture of a Pizza.

That concludes... whatever it concludes. Bye!

How I got There

13:06(PST):Well, we are going at last! I was rather late to arrive, but I just couldn't stand to part with Loch Ness Monster. Ok if you must know, The, er, the date slipped my mind, but it really isn't that big of a mistake seeing as I had a lot else on my mind such as donuts. You might wonder how I got to the port so fast, when I only realized we were going one hour before we left. That is a secret I have not even told our crew. You see, I was running around in a panic, really worried that I would miss the trip, when old, but not forgotten Carmo Del Suit came by(If you don't remember, he was the guy that dumped all the garbage on me in Encyclophobaticsburg). I was surprised to see him so far from his home.

Well, it turned out he felt bad about dumping all the garbage on me and wanted to do me a favor to make up for what he had done. I leaped to my feet and realized that I hadn't brushed my teeth. I ran home and back and when I returned he was still there. He inquired,"So, what can I help you with Nadump?" I didn't stop to correct him on my name, and told him in a rush,"Is there anyway you can get me to Alaska in 45 minutes?". He said "What?" I repeated the question, but slower. He though for a moment, then clapped his hands and started doing some native dance. I waited politely then stomped really loud and he went careening into a dump truck.

He wasn't too happy when he came back to me. "Use the donut factory,"he said with the impression of faded excitement. "Huh?" I asked. He beckoned me to the donut factory which was an exact replica of the famous one in Encyclophobaticsburg. We walked in and Carmo Del Suit grabbed the nice donut guy and hurled him into a truck that said Exports to China. Then he grabbed me and put me on top of the donut cranker. He cranked for about ten minutes until, apparently there was enough crank. Then he let go. I went flying over three continents and after a blur of color, I was shoved into some bus yard. I hoped I was in Alaska, but I couldn't be sure.

I got up gingerly and someone came up and asked me if I wanted to buy a stethoscope. I ignored them and turned the corner, and sighed in relief because it said Palodingle Alaskan National Shipyard/Port. Then I saw Agent Pizza looking incredibly grumpy. He gave me a long lecture about being on time, in which I caught up on lost sleep. Then we got up on the boat and I saw this lady, who was apparently the governor of Alaska(as Eréndira told me). The Governor came up and gave Eréndira a shell which she was very excited about. She promptly stole The Agents' laptop and updated her blog. She must have written a lot.

Well, that is the first day in my eyes and the second day will supposedly come after the first day, which, if my calculations are correct will be tomorrow. Bye, and good luck.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

First Day!

How Strange! Today is our first day of the journey. I have parted from Encyclophobaticsburg, after recently finishing a phone system (I figured that since we only had 5,426 phone lines, we could use another). Nadine arrived 2 seconds before our boat left, and was rather tired. It appeared as though she had just run a long way, and I later found out she had forgotten until the last minute. Chizu and her penguin have been here for a while, and are impatient. Eréndira arrived at the same time as the rest of us. Here is a list of when everyone arrived:

Chizu (and her penguin Gusto) arrived a long time ago and are impatient.

Me (Agent Pizza) and Eréndira got here just a few days ago, and we are the only ones on schedule, yet our trips were very long. Maybe that is why Eréndira is walking around quacking.

Zora came... well I'm not sure when Zora came, but she was just here.

Nadine just arrived, and is very late.

We have set off with two bananas, three barrels of fresh water, and a Pencil. Eréndira brought 4,000 packs of seeds, but she is sad because there isn't any soil in the ocean. All we have seen so far is a seal who was wandering near the bay. It took us nine days to pack those provisions, so I hope they last. If they don't, we will be landing in five weeks. If the food runs out before then, wel... Let's just say Gusto looks mighty tasty...

Yes, today is a rather boring day, because we just launched, so it might get better soon.

First Day

Well, the day has finally arrived. It has been one of excitement, and also one of sadness because we have all said goodbye to our familly and friends. I said goodbye to each penguin, and I ended up bringing along my best friend Gusto. He is my dearest penguin friend from college. He doesn't do well with humans, however, and when ever he does see them he goes a little weird. I don't apply, of course.

Gusto and I headed out to where our ship was setting sail. We were setting off in Palodingle, Alaska an excellent port. It worked very well because it was so close to all our homes.
The journey to the Port took five days for me and Gusto, but for Agent Pizza it took a month apparently. I don't think he has recovered from the blow of his telephonic system(it might be wise not to mention it to him!). Nadine isn't here yet, so I am not sure when we will leave. I asked Zora, but I couldn't understand what she said. It sounded like a horn.
Bye for now! Keep reading!