Thanks!

Just a quick thank you to all of you devoted fans who sent in Horn-Polishing Solution in response to our last post! It means a lot to think that all of you are such amazing followers, and even more amazing is that you had Horn-Polishing Solution (or similar) on hand! Here is what we have received in the mail so far:

1) A Dirty, smelly sock containing a live cobra and embroidered with the words "To Agent Pizza. My regards, G__t_" But there were some holes in part of the last word. Not sure who sent it, but I'm sure they meant well.

2) One bottle of "Kennie's All-Purpose Cleaning Solution" with small print reading "Only to be used on traffic cones and chalkboards".

3) One broken bottle that seems to have contained some sort of tar-like substance.

4) A nightstand made of toothpicks and marshmallows, or rather, what little remains of said nightstand.

5) Three rather confused-looking pelicans.

6) A salt shaker.

7) A round, black device with some sort of fuse sticking out, that seems to be on fire. Perhaps an exotic candle design.

7) A "LOST CAT" poster featuring a picture of a Christmas Tree. There's an autograph and message reading "This was all I had on hand" on the back.

8) Two strange bits of a fabric-like material, one with "us" on it, the other with "o" embroidered in the fabric. Very strange.

So as you can see, we got a total of 9 helpful gifts, but unfortunately none of them are very helpful.

Hold on a moment, I think I can hear a loud rumbling noise coming from a lower deck. And somebody seems to be shouting "What idiot put a bomb in the mail room?". Hmm... must be a loud radio program or something.

Day 12

I have just realized that we never covered day 12 of our journey. Luckily, I keep a small logbook in which I record the day and name of every day, but this was not enough. So I had to go deep into the ship and after going through the broken hydroponics facility, scientific lab, TV broadcasting chamber, ancient burial tomb, and dairy farmer lounge before finally coming to the cargo hold. This is where I found that we had used up most of the cargo hold's space to build the other facilities. I set about exploring the slightly cramped 6 square feet of space. Finally, I discovered the filing cabinet crammed between two alfalfa bales and a non-edible chunk of some glowing substance. That is when I realized that the file for day 12 was missing, and saw a small note attached that read "Costa Rica: The Place to Be". I recognized this as one of Gusto's travel brochures which he had hid all around the ship after Chizu became suspicious that he was not really going to Antarctica. I went to the little freak's room and asked him, but he threw bricks at me until I left. I don't know why he has so many, but that is a matter to be resolved later. I figured that, at this point, I had to sneak up on him, so I disguised myself as a pizza delivery man and knocked on the door. Unfortunately, he realized that there was no pizza deliveries in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, so he kicked me out again, but luckily not before I managed to steal the entire contents of his room. I searched through them and found the file, but unfortunately he seemed to realize what was happening somehow, and sent me flying off the ship. I was forced to climb aboard, but I found out that I had lost the paper. Searching the sea with Nadine's Loch Ness Monster Brand Telescope, I saw it floating in the middle of a pod of orca whales. It was then that I realized my only hope would be to swim out and get it, but luckily everybody's favorite penguin presented himself at this moment, apparently being "walked" by Chizu. He looked very unhappy about it, but I grabbed him and sent him flying into the pod of whales, which caused the piece of paper to be stabbed by his beak. While he was swimming back, I had to deal with an irate Chizu, btu I explained that I was just giving him his exercise, and fortunately Zora came out of her cabin at that point and began telling Chizu in great detail about her spotless spotted horn collection. I managed to steal the paper from Gusto, and I finally got back down to my cabin to type it up. Here is the entry for the twelfth day of our voyage:

Today Eréndira got the autograph of a passing eel.

I was profoundly moved after reading it.