Okay, take a few minutes to sit back down in your chair, put your socks back on, and possibly repair all four walls you just crashed through with surprise.
Now, some of you might not have known Gusto was on vacation, but trust me, the crew here knew perfectly well (we have all been having parties every day this week, except Chizu who has been reading the same novel over and over again, "How to fix a thermonuclear reactor For Dummies"). Anyway, Gusto had been gone to visit his relatives in Antarctica for Penguin-Bottle Day, which I am pretty sure he just made up so Chizu would let him go. The reasons I think this are mostly related to the fact that he only packed shorts in his suitcase, and I saw a brochure for Costa Rica in his pocket. But that isn't important; the important thing is that the little dude has come back aboard our boat!
Earlier today, he handed out souveniers to everybody on the boat. Everybody but Chizu and I got snowglobes that had duct tape over the labels, on which was written in permanent marker "Antartica". Strangely, I thought I saw a "C" under Nadine's, which was peeling slightly, but no matter.
Chizu got a jewel-encrusted statue of Gusto himself, which was 16 feet tall and at least 4 tons. Sadly, the statue crashed through the deck of the ship and smashed Gusto's entire room, which made us all very sad. Strangely, Chizu was the only one who looked sad, but everybody else said they were crying on the inside. Weird.
My present, of course, was a roughly cut wooden box that was half-rotten and had a broken hinge. Upon opening it, I found it was filled with poisonous scorpions, which tried to sting me. Luckily, I was wearing a scorpion-proof suit, so they all got bored and decided to go play Dance Dance Revolution in the cargo hold. When I was still alive after a few minutes, I noticed Gusto was crying, but when questioned he said that he was sad about his cabin and that I should be more grateful for my presents.
Well, this is not a good sign. Gusto always causes trouble aboard the ship, and now that he is back from his Antartica Vacation, I'm worried for the ship's safety.